I have had a few things on my mind lately that I feel I need to record somewhere so today’s entry is going to be more like a journal entry than a blog post. But since one of the biggest reasons I am writing this blog is for that very purpose, I guess whoever else decides to read this can come along for the ride.
We have lived in Georgia for over a year and a half now. And I have felt so many different emotions over the course of that time. Things started out very difficult, not knowing the area, what the future held for us here, being so far away from family, the mountains, sage brush, cold summer nights, and all else that was familiar to us, and getting used to it all while moving twice again. I can see the hand of God working so much in our lives. I have learned and am learning so much in the process. Sometimes that learning has come through pain and learning hard lessons, like what I need to change about myself–really facing head-on the areas where I am completely lacking. Sometimes that learning has come through waiting and trusting and living on faith. And sacrificing. And after the waiting, the answer or the solution has come, sometimes a little at a time. Other times it has come at times that I have not expected. Heavenly Father has surprised me and pushed me to act in order for some of the things that have transpired to happen. And that nudge has helped me to really rely upon that faith in order to try it. To see if I am willing to work for what I have been sacrificing for and trusting Him to be able to make possible for me and my family. I am still learning to trust Him. To ask Him for help instead of trying to do it myself. And when I have asked for help, He has always given it to me.
So because of all of these things and the blessings for which I feel so very grateful, I am so happy right now. And this is a strange feeling for me in February. In years past I have been struggling to see the bright side at all. I am so very grateful to feel joy! It feels like a miracle to me. So many things feel like miracles.
It feels like a miracle that I have five beautiful children that love me. My kids are so great!
Matthew is so aware of others and cares about me. His mother. He sees a need and pitches in to take care of it. He is such a peacemaker and can make friends with anyone. He is responsible and fun to have around. Some things that he does right now that I need to remember are 1. That he loves to sing really high notes. Not sure why he does this. He also sings just a lot of the time. He is learning the hymns to play in priesthood and he is also learning the guitar. 2. He likes to shake things that are serious up and make them fun. This is good for me as I am a little too serious most of the time. For example when we are learning something boring and serious, he will wake us up by using a crazy accent or weird voice. 3. He is growing so fast I can’t keep up with the food, or the clothing. He is now officially a few inches taller than me.The way I knew he was finally feeling better after the pneumonia was when he started eating everything in site again. 4. He is branching out and having an opinion. This has been difficult for me as sometimes that opinion will differ from my own, but I see it as a good thing and am trying to adjust my own controlling ways to let him be his own person. 5. He loves to make desserts and eat them. So we are having to set limits on how often this can occur, because I love desserts and cannot say no when they are around.
Jenny is magical when it comes to children. She can turn a crying, sad child into a happy, smiling one. She can play on a little kid’s level for hours and still have fun. This is so awesome to me. Her imagination and creativity helps me to stretch my own abilities. Some things that she does right now that I need to remember are 1.She is very excited about all things spiritual. She is the first to read her scriptures in the morning, she has almost completed her Faith in God award, and can’t wait to be in Young Women. 2. She reads a lot. She reads every book that is remotely interesting or on her level. She also reads at least five New Era magazines cover to cover every week. 3. She is diving into music right now. She started playing the cello at the beginning of the school year and not only has she enjoyed this and loves playing it, but her love for piano has come out of nowhere. 4. She is shy when she is in a small group of people, but put her in front of an audience and she is confident and calm. I saw this for the first time at the New Beginnings we attended with her as she will be entering the Young Women program this year. They asked each of the girls questions in front of everyone and she didn’t hesitate on her answers. She stood there very sure and answered the questions like she had had an hour to prepare. 5. She loves cats. A lot. And other animals. She is always drawing pictures of them on the white board.
Lucy is still a light to us all. She really just has a brightness about her and is fun to be around. She loves others to be happy and she loves hugs. If I asked her who her best friends were, I wouldn’t be surprised to hear her answer “Tommy and Taivan.” She is working on being neater.She loves to move a lot. It seems she only sits still if she is watching TV or reading a book. She needs movement to learn and learned her addition and subtraction flashcards while doing jumping jacks or another kind of big movement for every card. Her movement brings happiness to me. Some things she does right now that I need to remember are 1.She can be crazy funny the way she moves and crashes into doorways or down the stairs and she is always calling out, “I’m okay!” after we hear her thump into something. 2. She loves poetry and will read it like a novel. She knows where the poetry section of the library is and she has many, many poems in her memory that she will just pull out at random times. 3. She loves eating carrots right now and will eat a whole carrot after peeling it pretty much every day. And there are always carrot peelings on the floor around the garbage. Something I will miss when she is bigger. 4. She likes to talk a lot. She will dominate at least half of the dinner conversation most nights. Especially if we are feeding the missionaries. And she likes to talk to her friends. In Primary when she is supposed to be listening. I understand this. I think she got this wonderful trait from her mother. 5. She wants to be just like her sister. She wants to create things and draw things and play the piano and read her scriptures and do her hair straight and cut bread and cook Ramen and do whatever else Jenny does. There is at least one day in every week after their bedroom has gotten a little messy where Lucy will come to me and say, “Mom, could you keep Jenny downstairs for a while? I’m going to surprise her by cleaning up the bedroom.”
Tommy is a little man. He blows my mind every day with the way his brain works. I have already written a little about him and his list making and how he desires to make good choices. Some other things about him are that he loves building things. I guess that could included lists. He also loves Legos and Marble Run and blocks. He needs to always stay busy, or at least his mind needs to always stay busy. He can get lost in any certain activity for a very long period of time. He is super focused. When he gets something set in his mind, it is difficult to change it. Although, he is learning to be more flexible. He has come a long way in that regard. Some things about Tommy that I need to remember are 1. He randomly will stop what he is doing and come tell me he loves me. And he gives very meaningful, sincere hugs. Something that will help him to deal with frustration better than anything else is just holding him for a while and letting him cry it out. He really responds to affection. 2. He is uncanny about music. He can pick out different voices or instruments in any given song. He can put together melodies and rhythms on Garage Band that are amazing. And then he will give each one a distinct name. 3. He loves to talk to me about deep things. I have come to cherish tucking him into bed at night for this reason. He will open up to me about things that are on his mind and he is very honest about what I need to be doing as a mother. 4. He has a sophisticated palate and can come up with some very amazing food combinations. I love hearing his birthday dinner requests, and especially his cake because he will always pick something I have never made, and it will always be something so yummy! 5. He loves to share and give to others. Whenever he has money, he will use it to buy a treat for the whole family to share, or he will look for things to buy for other people.
Taivan is just a joy. He is still our Bubby Boy. He loves games, even peek-a-boo still. He is changing so much and growing into his own little personality that everything I write about him will fit into the things I need to remember about him category. He makes the best faces. He can raise his eyebrows and do the craziest things with his face. This is a gift I think he inherited from his father. He is also very shy so cheering him on with praise has the opposite effect for him. Instead of pushing him onward, he backs away from whatever he just did that was cute or phenomenal. He is a jumper and he hops and jumps and skips around the house a lot of the day. He loves to run errands with me and his asking has changed from “Cam I come?” to “Can I go with you, Mom?” He is loving books and letters and of course wants to be able to sums like Tommy and Lucy can. He can count to ten. He loves Primary songs. Some of his favorites right now are “I Know That My Savior Loves Me,” “When I Am Baptized,” “Jesus Wants Me for a Sunbeam,” “I Love to See the Temple,” “Two Little Hands,” and “Joseph Smith’s First Prayer.” Of course all of them have different names that he calls them. The Jesus Song, The Temple One, The Rainbow One, The Obey One, The Joseph One, and Sunbeam. He is really getting independent and can dress himself completely. Sometimes he needs a little help. He is telling me lately when he wets in his diaper that he had an accident and that I need to change him. He loves to help me in the kitchen, especially if I am making bread and he will come running when he hears the wheat grinder or the Bosch mixer to come help me. And he really does try to help. He will try scooping whatever ingredient is nearby into what I’m making. He isn’t quite as mischievous lately, but for a while there was at least one thing every day that he would do. Draw on the wall with any writing utensil, get into spices and rub them all over himself, feed the cat 30 times as much as he needs to eat, putting things in the washer or dryer, messing with the printer when it is printing. Those are a few I remember right now. He is such a snuggly boy and he will still come up to his daddy and me and say “Can I hold you?” Sad thing is that he is getting so big it is becoming difficult to hold him for very long anymore.
So this is just a drop in the bucket, but it is definitely what brings me happiness now.