Carly has been with us now for four months. I am going to do my best to remember the circumstances surrounding her birth because they are important to me. Before…
Carly has been with us now for four months. I am going to do my best to remember the circumstances surrounding her birth because they are important to me.
Before this delivery, I had five epidurals. Two of them went very smoothly and the other three did not. The epidural with Matthew’s delivery I couldn’t feel a thing and wasn’t able to push well because of it. In Lucy’s delivery, the anesthesiologist could not do it right the first time and poked me five times trying to start the epidural and consequently I had a horrible headache every time I was upright for a week after I had the baby. And the last one when I was delivering Taivan only numbed me halfway. I felt everything on one side and nothing on the other. So for this delivery I did not want to roll the dice to see what kind of epidural I would end up with. I decided quite a while back that I wanted to do my next delivery naturally. No drugs, no I.V. I knew what I wanted, but it was difficult for me for explain to Tom why it was so important to me. He does not like to see me go through pain, so I talked to him a lot and I did my research with hospitals/providers/doctors in my area that would support my decision instead of trying to talk me out of it. When I was pregnant with the baby that I lost, my cousin Candice told me about Nile Women’s Clinic and their collaboration with North Fulton Hospital and how they specialize in natural births. It was a process, but over the course of the pregnancy I was able to figure out what I wanted specifically so that I could have a plan for delivery. I also did quite a bit of mental preparation both so I could help myself through the pain of delivery, both the pain itself and the unknown pain that was to come. I didn’t want to get almost there and wish I could go back.
A few weeks before I delivered, Tom and I were able to tour North Fulton Hospital and it relieved many of my fears and his. I had planned for a water birth in the beginning, but noticed since the pregnancy went through the hot summer and I was in the swimming pool and water a lot, that it never soothed me like it had in past pregnancies. Also, it seemed to change the position of the baby and make me and her extremely uncomfortable. I also talked to Candice about her experience having a water birth and she said the hardest part about it was that she felt alone when she was in the tub. That sealed the deal of not doing a water birth.
I did discover early in my pregnancy that yoga was very soothing. I did yoga nearly daily and considering that this was my sixth full pregnancy, I was quite comfortable with very little pain. I found out about the use of an exercise ball during delivery and knew that this was something that would work. Tom and I took a free class (watched a video) on natural childbirth that I found online. It had all the elements that I seemed to be lacking, mainly the analytical aspects of pain and tension vs. relaxation. It also pointed out how beneficial having a rhythm and system for each contraction. So a couple weeks out, I felt so ready. I feel like all the silent prayers I had said during this process had been answered in very specific ways.
As the due date approached I could sense my body preparing for birth. I had about three nights in a row where the labor pains were painful enough to keep me from getting much sleep. I was ready to either have the baby or get some needed rest. I read somewhere that taking an epsom salt bath would either help me rest or start labor. So the evening of September 5, I decided to put it to the test. My contractions completely stopped and I was asleep before 10:00 pm. At 2:00 am, I was awakened by some painful contractions. I tried to go back to sleep, but to no avail. By 3:00 I started timing contractions. At 4:30 I woke Tom because contractions were about 5 minutes apart and we had to travel about 30 minutes to the hospital.
When we arrived at the hospital, they put me on monitors to see what my contractions looked like and how the baby was handling them. They stayed consistently 3 to 5 minutes apart and I was dilated to a 4. They decided to keep me and said maybe walking the halls, would help move things along.
Tom and I walked the halls for about 3 hours. Then the nurse checked me again and put me on monitors again for 30 minutes. I was still at a 4 but my contractions were still coming. The nurse asked how far we lived from the hospital and I knew she was thinking of sending me home. At this point the lack of sleep was really hitting Tom and me. I was frustrated because I KNEW this baby was coming that day. I told the nurse I would keep walking and I said a silent prayer that things would start moving so they wouldn’t sent me home. Tom lay down and slept since not much was happening and I paced the large delivery room. An hour and a half later, I could tell that the contractions were becoming more painful. I woke Tom and he began helping me with each contraction. Soon they put me on the monitors and checked me again. I had progressed to a six. Once done on the monitors, I decided to take a shower.
The warm water helped to relax me, but didn’t feel constrictive like submerging did and my pains began to really start getting intense. About five minutes after the shower, my water broke. The nurse checked me soon after and I was to a nine. She went to call the doctor that I had requested. (At the practice, I was seeing nurse midwives, but I had a few unsettling experiences with one of them. Because of this reason, I decided to ask for a doctor to deliver.) Two or three contractions after the nurse left, I was feeling the urge to push. Tom went into the hallway and told the nurse it was time. Of course, he was letting them know that they needed to come now. When he returned I was on the floor on all fours getting ready to push. I was in the depth of the pain at that point and that was the most comfortable position. Tom pretty much picked me up in that position and put me on the bed to save my knees and give the midwife who was there to catch the baby easier access since the doctor had not arrived yet. I remember pushing about four times and Carly was born. This experience was very enlightening to me, but I have struggled to put it into words. It doesn’t take away from any of my other births, because they were all very special to me for different reasons and I have learned various things from each one. But for this I had prepared more and put more of myself into it, so it meant so much more to me. I prepared to do this delivery without the help of medication for pain relief. This didn’t mean that I didn’t ask for help. I remember reaching a point that I thought, that is when I would normally ask for an epidural. That was when I asked Tom to come be with me through the pain. Having him near was so comforting, he helped me relax and reminded me to breath. There was a point when I was preparing for this delivery that I felt this experience might come between us because Tom did not understand why it was important to me. In the end, this experience was an experience that brought me so much nearer to him because of his support. I couldn’t have gotten through the pain without him. Despite the pain, it was one of the most amazing experiences I have ever had.
It was so very worth it. Carla Christine Loveland was born on September 6, 2017 at 12:24 pm. She weighed 7 pounds 2 ounces and was 19.75 inches long. Something interesting about her after she was first born was that she cried for a very long time, not just loud, “I don’t know about all this new stuff” kind of cry, but a very sad cry. I felt my mothering instinct kick in immediately because of this to comfort her. It took at least 30 minutes for me to get her to calm down. Tom mentioned that maybe she was missing the place and people from whence she had come. I have always felt that to be true.
She is such a little dolly. Our sweet little baby girl that we had been waiting for for many years.
What a precious little bundle. One thing I forgot to mention, and am increasingly grateful for, is that she was born healthy and strong. When the midwife examined my placenta, she said it was old and falling apart, which was unusual because I wasn’t overdue, but ten days early. I’m not sure what causes this kind of thing, but am grateful Carly arrived when she did and was born so healthy and with no complications.
A very proud father. What a wonderful husband and man he is.
My little squishy girl.
And of course all her happy siblings. Matthew had been waiting a long time to hold her. He has always loved babies.
Jenny didn’t realize she was going to be a second mother to this tiny little baby.
I didn’t realize how much help Lucy would be in caring for Carly. She can change her diapers, calm her when she’s hungry, knows when she’s tired, and gets endless smiles and chatter from her.
Tommy is such a sweet brother to Carly and is gentle and kind. He speaks so sweetly to her.
Taivan is excited to be a big brother and is such a great one, always caring for her. We are so very happy to have her in our family at last!
