Today I was bouncing between things (I am not a very great multitasker because I am easily distracted!) and decided now was a good a time as any to finally go through Tommy’s clothes and do the “clothes shuffle.” I’m sure many of you know what I am referring to–taking the clothes that are too small, moving them out and moving in the next bigger size. And while I was doing that, I started getting REALLY sad. Sad because he is already four months old and he hardly fits into a lot of his 3 to 6 month clothes, sad because I remembered the bigger clothes when Matthew used to wear them and now he is EIGHT!, sad because I was thinking that most likely I will be passing the smaller clothes onto someone else who needs them more, and sad because Lucy was watching family videos (old videos of Matthew and Jenny when they were little) in the living room and it was all just very full of memories for me. For some reason it reminded me of the time I realized that Jenny would be going to school the year after Matthew did (this realization came a few months before I was pregnant with Lucy). I guess this is how I judge my age and my life, by my children. As they grow and get older, so do I. It affects me WAY more than knowing that I will be 30 this year, or that it was over fifteen years ago yesterday that Tom and I met for the first time. And even though I try to live in the moment with children (I have held Tommy so much more than any of my other kids. Each one I hold even more, knowing how quickly they grow.) there is still that sense of not enough time.
That brings me to another thought. Starting tomorrow I am going to start participating in “Thankful Thursday,” something that my cousin’s wife has done for a while and really helps me. But it think I would even be benefitted more by doing my own. Just a few random thoughts in the time I should be getting dinner on. 🙂