I have been very reflective today on what it means and what it really feels like to be a mother.
And it is really hard to put into words. I do want to share some thoughts though. I didn’t have the most flashy day, but it was perfect. The things that my family did for me were from the heart. Tom fixed dinner as a surprise and underneath my plate was a very thoughtful handwritten letter from him. That meant more to me than a hundred wrapped gifts and is something I will always remember. Matthew made me a Mother’s Day package at school that had a giant card, a flower (his face as the center of the flower) in a vase full of chocolate hugs and kisses, and his giant hand prints (his hands are almost as big as mine and I don’t have small hands) on paper. And Jenny drew a very special picture of me. She said she drew me really, really pretty because today was Mother’s Day.
Tonight Tom and I were looking at some picture of a few years ago. And I was trying to remember what it was like before I was a mother. It is pretty difficult to do. I just feel like being a mother is something that I have always wanted. Growing up I never wanted to be a teacher or a secretary or a firefighter or anything else aspired to as a child. I only ever wanted to be a Mother. And now I am and I love it. Sometimes it is a very taxing responsibility, but with the challenges come the most amazing rewards and more happiness than I ever imagined possible. I know that I am not the best mother, but I am trying to be better. I know it would be worse if I were a single mother. I am so blessed to have such a wonderful husband and father to my children that makes up for the many areas I am lacking. Every day I have at least one experience to remind me why I love being a mother. Whether it is one of my children smiling at me or giving me a hug from behind or around the legs or just looking at them while they are sleeping so peacefully, I remember how much I love them and the bags under the eyes from little sleep, or the messes or massive amounts of laundry are a small price to pay for so much love and happiness that come from being a mother.