My trip was originally scheduled to be from July 1st through July 10th. Even from the beginning, though, my wonderful attorney told me that it would take longer than those few days to get my residence permit. She had told me it would longer to get my visa as well, but it happened very quickly. So, I assumed she was just telling me the processing time listed on the government website, when in reality it processes much more quickly. I was wrong, and she was right.
It is Tuesday, July 21st. This morning, I was able to go to a government office in Ulaanbaatar where I was given my residence card. I don’t know if I’ve ever been happier to receive a government-issued document. There are many people who have to live far from their families for one reason or another. Military, construction jobs, long-haul trucking, etc. I have never had to do that before. So, even though the time was short relative to what other people do, it was the longest I’ve ever been away from my wonderful wife and children.
Jen has been shouldering a heavy load. It isn’t easy to be a single parent of seven children living at home. We don’t deserve each other. I felt that when I married her. She is out of my league. I know that. I don’t deserve her. There have been times in our marriage that have been unnecessarily challenging because of my own issues and problems. She didn’t deserve that. And yet, she loves me, and I love her.
I’ve been working in the United States’ Eastern Time zone for the past week or so. My schedule is a little upside down, but maybe I’ll have less jetlag when I get home. I don’t have a lot to write because I’ve mostly been trying to lay low and not spend a lot of money. Just working and sleeping.
I do want to write about how Heavenly Father has been lovingly teaching me lessons. Teaching me how to leave worry behind and have faith instead. Teaching me that He loves me even when I sin, and that because of the atonement of Jesus Christ, all is not lost when we sin. I know these seem like basic lessons, but I’m 45 and still learning them, and he teaches me. When I was younger, I was athletic as many young people are. But I was terrible at basketball because I had a thousand different things going on in my head when I was playing: ‘Do I look cool to the girls?’ Dribbles off foot. No! Then I over compensate for my mistake by fouling or something like that. My mind was not a place of calm. There was one coach who understood my overactive brain and could coach me through that so I could enjoy the game. This experience reminded me of that. He knows that I’m prone to worry too much and many other weaknesses. He calmly, patiently, and lovingly teaches me how to be happy while having the brain I have. I’ve learned again that He wants very much to talk to His children, and He wants to talk to them often. My mind and heart have often not been in a place where he could reach me. If it is full of anger, pride, sin, or distraction (electronic entertainment, etc.), then I’m not in a place to hear Him. When I humble myself, I acknowledge that I have many things still to learn. When I set aside quiet time for Him, I put myself in a place where I can hear Him. When I have faith in Him, my heart is open to receive. These three things put me in a place where I can receive revelation. It is so simple, and it is mentioned over and over in the scriptures. I am grateful for the lessons I’ve learned (some of them not for the first time) on this trip. I also know that what applies to me applies to all of His children. Each person is precious to Him, and He does everything He can to help us. To help us have peace. To lift our burdens. To improve our living circumstances, and many other things that we may need.
I don’t love any of my children more than another. I don’t know of a unit of measurement for love. But sometimes, one child or another will take an interest in being closer to me, and we form a special bond. I think it’s like that with Heavenly Father. He loves us individually. And the child He is closest with, Jesus Christ, he allowed to experience suffering beyond our capability to understand because they both love us. I believe one day we will understand what that sacrifice cost them, and we will kneel in wonder at what our Savior and our Heavenly Father did for us.
I could keep writing about this for a while. “Behold, who can glory too much in the Lord?” I’m so grateful for His presence in our lives. I’m in awe of His kindness and mercy.
I was so excited to go to the airport, that I packed up and left today. I’ll spend the night here tonight and be on the airplane tomorrow. The benches they have here are about as comfortable as the cot. Actually, “benches” is underselling it. They have 8 foot long padded places for people to rest while waiting for flights. I’ll work through the night and rest a little before the flight.
Leave a Reply